Couple Blog

Hey everyone...

I started a blog to "track" Ryan and I's new life together. Its simple...but hopefully it will grow just like our love.

http://trackingpack.blogspot.com/

Burn through

Holy cow! I burned through almost 100 pages of journal in only 3 months. I guess I had a lot to write about with Ryan coming into my life. That being said, I have no journal pages left but have things on my mind I want to write out. My blog gets the blunt of it all...

School.
This semester started off pretty rough. I felt like I couldn't handle my roles at work, school and my new role as a wife. Never before in my college career have I actually been on top of my homework. For some reason this semester, I felt it more important than ever to actually be able to in line with the syllabus schedule. I more a few things around and dropped down to 12 credits.

It has already been such a huge relief. For once I feel like I am enjoying my university education. For once I feel like I am actually making good use of tithing money.
I feel so blessed to hold such a precious gift--My education is funded by sacred money. That's pretty amazing. That thought makes me feel even more obligated to succeed.

Sociology has become one of my favorite courses. Socio 111 filled in blank spots in my Spring semester and Socio 112 has done the same for this semester. Although, they were both fill ins, I feel like I have gained so much insight in those classes. At some points in class discussion, I worry that I allow too much of "society" to effect me. It is so fascinating to me that even though the Lord gave us agency, because of the way society is organized and structured there are so many choices we think we're making...but we're really not. Weird right?

Work.
After being out for three weeks I was sooooo excited to get back to the office. When I got back, everything seemed to have spun out of control.

I guess as a manager (and maybe sometimes in my general life) I'm a control freak. I got back to the office and things weren't being done my way. I guess they were doing things the same way as always but I just hadn't been able to keep an eye on everything.

I love my job. The people I work with have become such good friends. I respect them all so much for their different talents and abilities. I love the chance I get to lead and the chance I get to learn how to lead. I love that I feel more prepared and comfortable in making my opinion known.

Love.
Wow. Everyday I am more amazed at how blessed I am just to have a husband. Not just any husband either- Ryan Packard.

Tonight I was working on homework at the kitchen table and he came up next to me, put his arms around me and kissed me on the forehead. He didn't let go for a while. He picked me up in his arms (like Daddy used to pick me up when I was little) and carried me over to the couch just so he could hold me.

My husband is a teacher. He allows to spirit to direct the way he approaches discussions. He is dedicated to family prayer and scripture study. He is worthy of and uses his priesthood authority in our home.

Ryan doesn't ever hesitate to show his love. He tells me every morning how beautiful I am. He writes sweet messages in my lunch every day. He speaks to me so gently.


Life.
When I think about all that I have been given, I recognize my potential. I also recognize that the Lord expects so much. I want to be the willing and faithful servant. I want to be trained in such a way that I am useful to the building up of the kingdom.

I know the Lord loves. I know He provides. I feel His presence in the programs, organizations and practices here at BYU and within the church. I know that agency was a special, special gift that I cannot yet comprehend the importance of. I love the Lord and His church.

I am grateful.

Moon, ocean, heart.

Honeymoon.

Sunday after all of the wedding festivities we flew out to Cozumel. Holy cow was it gorgeous. Our resort was all inclusive and the food was fantastic.

The water, clear and blue. The waves, slow and calming. The sun, warm and toasting.



There is just something about a beach that is so different. Its not that its romantic but it puts everything else beside. You just want to lay in the sun and fall asleep.

My sisters are expecting juicy details but there won't be any. Sorry...there will be none. ;)
I will say that I loved having a DVD player in our room. We cuddled every night and fell asleep to a movie. Court Jester is def a new favorite of mine. Brecken....nice ring to it eh?

Its probably strange to say but I think we were really ready to get back to real life. We were so excited to start living it together.

Life.

The drive to Utah was boring as usual. The first week of school stressed me to the bone with work, homework, and trying my best to be the little wifey I wanted to be. I've had to realize that things will come with time. Right now, life has too much going on. We're finally starting to settle in and I'm finally feeling okay with our routine. We have long days but at least we get to come home to each other.

Ryan has already brought the strength of the spirit into our home. Counseling with my husband is fun and reassuring. We are doing are best to reach the goals that we have set for our tiny new family. Slowly, we learn about one another. Slowly, I am becoming to rely more on him for my world. These past few weeks haven't been the bliss I expected but they have taught me so many good things and I feel bliss in all of that knowledge.

My husband loves. My husband is the joy behind my smile. My husband fills in all of my many gaps.

I love you Ryan Packard.

Love,
Mrs. Packard

Here are a few pictures of the beginnings of our little house.

Honey, suga, life.

Sorry guys. I know its been a while. Life has kinda of taken me by the reigns lately.

I finally got married. We had to kind of jump right back into things. Ryan I had little time to adjust to our new life together. That's my excuse for being so behind on updates.

The Day.
Before, everyone told me that no matter what you do, you will have some regrets about the way you did your wedding. I don't have those. My big day was a perfect day.

Kneeling across from the man of my dreams in the House of the Lord--what could be better. That was the sweetest experience of my life. We both got dressed after the ceremony but sat in the temple writing down our feelings before we went outside to meet everyone. Mandi had done my flowers in a frantic the night before and they were beautiful, exactly what I wanted.

Going outside was a bit of a rush. Strange though, that I felt so completely calm inside knowing I had Ryan by my side and that he would be there forever.

I think one of the greatest blessings of that day was having all of my wonderfully beautiful siblings there. I couldn't have asked for something more special or eternal. Over the past few years my family has grown so near and dear to my heart. More so than I think I would've imagined.

We fried outside in the sun taking pictures then hurried to the luncheon.

We got to the reception hall early and it looked perfect. It was so beautiful, my fairytale. Guest started arriving and greeting them felt so good to say "this is my husband." We had a blast dancing and I loved watching little Gavin boy drop it like its hot.

At the end of the night I was so ready to just be with Ryan, to have him all to myself. The next day was just as hectic with the open house.

Soft as mud...

Life, Love-its been a crazy ride lately.

I haven't had much time to write in my journal lately. So this post will serve as a tiny update...

School is same ole' same ole'- thank goodness the semester is almost over.
Work is a little more exciting because a ton of neat new phones are being released. Hello iPhone 4 and Evo has got me hooked.


I'm sure mostly anyone who reads my blog will know buuuut I am engaged! Wow. Crazy right? Crazy exciting is what you better be thinking because oh boy it is. I never thought things would happen the way they have. My life molded itself so much differently than I expected-and I am so happy it did.

Ryan, oh Ryan.

You swept me off my feet. I love your sweet little rhymes that you write for all of your schemes. I love that you bought me an entire bag of Sonic ice because I was craving it one night. I love that you sing-sing-and sing some more. I love that you make me better without even trying and that you don't judge. I love that you came to the temple with me on my birthday and that we can share those quiet moments.



You just love and it amazes me. You are kind and gentle. Your smile calms. Your strong hands make me feel safe and needed at the same time. You reassure me in my insecurities. The Lord is your priority and it shows in the way you care for everyone around you. Family is your heart and you work so hard to make sure you're a good older brother.

You're it baby. It hit me hard and it hit me quick. I am so excited to be your wife.

A body of heart.

This week-oh, this week. Never thought so much could happen in such a short period of time!

It seems that at this point in my life that everything pivots-churning my future possibilities. No need to go into detail, but I'll say that I was completely content-until lightening of love cracked and the thunder of worry shook. Yieee.

Thursday, I skipped class and went to the temple, looking for solace and the voice of the Lord. I was blessed to have quite a few family names that Dad had sent me and I was shipped to the front of the line. For those of you who don't know, the Provo temple is the busiest in the world. Usually, it takes at least two hours to do baptism and confirmations for only three names. I guess when you have family names though, its a different story. I didn't even get a chance to sit and think. Don't get me wrong, the temple ALWAYS brings a calmness. This time it did too. I just wish I would've had more of a chance to get my head straight.

Tonight, left alone to download heaps of music, my body felt a familiar ache. So I went to the dance studio. I feel renewed. Light; as if a balloon in my back eased out all of the air pressuring me. I love to watch every inch of my body sustain through the music; inch by inch by inch. My thoughts burst through my finger tips.
I may lose my mind; but dance always finds my heart and soul.


End Note:
General Conference is this weekend. We are so blessed to have a prophet on the Earth. I know that this weekend will be full of revelation and goodness. Hope you all tune in. Check out---www.lds.org---for some info and highlights.

Business Time.

Okay, so the title of this post may remind you of a clever song by Flight of the Concords. However, that is not its intended meaning.

A few months ago, I was promoted to be the student manager at work. The job entails a lot. I am in charge of pretty much everything that goes on in our office; making sure everything is run efficiently, customers are happy, and we're not costing people hundreds of dollars. I also get to interview and hire people. I was promoted a few days before we began looking for a new employee and it was scary to me to have to judge someone like that; to discern how their character would function in the workplace. I ended up somehow (probably by the grace of the Holy Ghost) hiring a FANTASTIC guy! He has been spectacular! However, our last seasoned veteran of the office was just elected to be a BYUSA officer, deeming him unable to work on campus.That means I have to start the hiring process all over again, adding even more things to my busy schedule like reading over resumes' and interviewing.

I love my job so much. I enjoy learning about business and they way large "corporations" work internally. The professional world has become a comfortable place for me. I understand when it is appropriate to joke and when work needs to get done. I love being important and in charge. I think I function better that way...it doesn't hurt that the people I work with make me soooo happy!

Other than work, life is pretty mediocre. I go to school, work, then home for homework. Some dance I go pound out on the floor of the dance studio or run on the quiet nature trails by the river. My mind is constantly running. I have little time to sit in quiet--even when I do my mind is ever racing.

Saturday I got to go to the temple. The temple always allows me to get my thoughts in order. I still think about all I was thinking before, but in the temple I can sort those thoughts. That organization in my brain brings me peace.

I love life and the beautiful spring weather we have had lately. Being outside without goosebumps is a GREAT feeling.

Shiny like Sterling silver....

Last semester in my media writing class, I had to choose an person I thought was interesting and write a paper about them. I chose one of the other students that works in the BYU Cell Phone Office with me- Sterling May. We stayed after work for an hour or so and I grilled him about his life.

I was so impressed by his willingness and excitement to make people feel cared for. He always has a smile on his face. He always tries his best to put a smile on yours.

In our interview he talked about his older sister Elyse May. He said she was his inspiration and that "she just has this fire about her." Little does he realize he has a fire himself. Driven to serve, excited to care, Sterling continues to impress me with character and spirit.

He loves the Lord and shares that through his service. I so respect him and feel blessed to have been able to work so closely with him the last few months. I have enjoyed getting to know him and watching stupid youtube videos with him. He is clever and jolly and is running for BYUSA vice president with his friend Chris Peterson.

Vote for Sterling and Chris. They want you to Make BYU Yours.

The Spirit of Love

Valentines Day.

I was dreading this day. Previous to this weekend I decided to boycott chick-flicks. I refused to be depressed because I missed Brennen. I was alone and didn't have anyone to share this day of love with. Yesterday, my heart changed. Brennen is so amazing. He has been my best friend for almost 8 years now. I am in awe that he still loves me so much. He continues to tell me that I am his drive; my testimony pushes him to serve. I feel the exact opposite. He is my inspiration and drive to learn more about my Savior. His fire and desire to be "energized" lights a bonfire in my heart ;]

He is clever...found a way to send me flowers all the way from Brazil...I love him so.



My new roomate Alicia is from Spain and has not yet been baptized. She has taken quite a few lessons from the missionaries. She knows that the Book of Mormon is true and Joseph Smith was a prophet. The only thing she is afraid of is that she doesn't know if President Monson is a prophet. She has been praying so hard. I am so impressed by her courage. She came to a place where she cannot communicate the way she feels. She is bold enough to ask hard questions. She is beautiful and gracious. I know the Lord will answer her prayers because she is patient, willing ready to accept His will.

It is so wonderful to have the missionaries in our home. They really do bring the spirit in. It is so cool because neither of the elders speak Spanish but because of the spirit they have been able to communicate well. I LOVE IT! I feel inspired when they teach. Scriptures come to mind...I love listening to Spanish. Its a beautiful language =)

Singles Awareness Day turned out to be a pretty fabulous sabbath day. Not only was I super jolly, it was absolutely GORGEOUS outside! The sun was shining and it was gloriuously warm =) I love the earth.

It didn't hurt that we had a thousand and one treats get dropped off at our apartment today!

Newness

So, I haven't posted in a while. I guess I just haven't had anything profound or exciting to say. My life is just being lived- no adventurous hiking or spontaneous drives to Las Vegas.

I been fairly content with my plot in life lately. There have been a few days when I pretty sure the world hates my soul, but I've gotten over it. I'm coming to feel more and more comfortable with myself. I am realizing what makes me me. I love looking out windows to see a bright sky, stormy clouds, brilliant rays of sunlight or twinkling flakes of snow. I love having a body that moves according to the emotions and desires of my spirit. I love finally having a girl-friend I am close with-that I can talk to without words. I love laughter, especially when there is no real reason for it. I love my Savior and that even when I am distant from Him, He is never distant from me.

It feels so good to be able to dance again. I got a gym membership and I go in the studio whenever I get the chance. Dance defines a part of me. I don't feel quite complete without it-without music moving my soul.

I applied to my major last week. I still have two steps to finish before I actually get into the program BUT hopefully...I can handle it if I don't get in..I'm pretty nervous.

I forgot I did a photoshoot with one of my friends Saturday. It was really fun but I felt a little silly trying to be cool and model-like







His name is Devin and you can check out the rest of his work on his website www.capturedbydash.com

A Savior of Yours

This was my final paper for my New Testament class. I wrote it in about twenty minutes but it sums up my love for the Savior. I felt since it's almost Christmas time it was only fitting to share.



I have known for a while that Christ is my Savior, friend, and comfort. I have known for a while that He lives still. I have often thought about how our Christus depicts the living Christ and is a symbol for our religion. Likewise, the cross is a symbol for many other Christian faiths. This semester I guess I’ve come to more of a realization that Christ leads and guides this church because He lives.

I have had class in Salt Lake every Thursday night this semester. The time in the car has become a major blessing in my crazy, busy life. It’s the only time I have to think. I so often underestimate the power of silence but that drive has reinforced its importance to me. Last week I turned off the music for only fifteen minutes on the way home. I felt a little strange. I finally had a moment to get my jumbled thoughts in order. I felt a power, no special revelation or cools ideas-just presence. I was calm. I was rejuvenated. I started to think about perspective and pictured Joseph Smith’s first vision in my head. Usually, I’m viewing that celestial occurrence as a spectator from the woods. Thursday, I saw it through Joseph’s eyes. The reality of Satan and his power on Earth hit me hard. So often I only think of Satan as having spiritual power to tempt us. I forget his power in a physical sense. Only with great determination was Joseph able to escape the grasps of Satan’s fingertips. As I imagined the light, the glory that appeared after Joseph’s courage it flooded my mind with awe. Two separate, very real beings came and spoke to him. Those beings were present, not past or future. I know they still exist today. Viewing that beautiful moment of the restoration in different eyes calmed me so much.

I feel so many take the powerful knowledge of a living Christ for granted. They do not realize what it means to have the Savior so close and so real. To me, it means that I always have someone to turn to, someone to help sort my thoughts, someone to calm my puzzled heart. To me, Christ is more than the Savior of mankind; He is the Savior that atoned for me. He is the Savior that atoned for not only my sins, but my sorrows.

Jesus is the Christ and knowing that He still comforts men, He still speaks to man makes worries useless. Christ will always be there to guide the church even in the darkest of times. I know that through His living revelation, this church lives and grows. The power of the words of President Monson and the twelve apostles can only be described as such. I feel we are given the knowledge of a living Savior as not only comfort, but hope. We may hope to live again- to live with Him again. We may hope to be clean and love beyond the grave; beyond the limits of time. My Savior lives, loves and inspires me.

Pressure

I spent Thanksgiving in Boise with my roomate Ky. These were all painted in an alley way in downtown!




I seem to be getting these pressure headaches alot lately. I can't focus and I feel stir crazy. Its really been upsetting me...I can't fall asleep the same way and I can't sort my thoughts to come to any sort of conclusion about anything. Bleh.

I'm definitely ready for this semester to be over and done with. School has really kicked my trash lately. I feel stupid because I haven't been able to process new knowledge like usual. I don't know why but my brain seems to be malfunctioning. It doesn't work the same anymore.

I have realized so many of my inadequacies, my weaknesses. For some reason, I cannot pin point them, but I am much more aware they exist. I've lost some of my untamed confidence. I do however, realize the Lord's grace-He blesses me when I am truly undeserving.

Christmas is coming soon and I am SOOO excited to see family. I miss all of my beautiful nieces and nephews. It blows my mind that I have lived another year of my life. So much has changed since last December, and yet so much remains.


I want this month to be the beginning of my service year.

A Think.

Wow.

So, life continues to throw me curve balls. I think I'm learning to catch the pitch. Finally, I've made a decision I feel so complete and content with. I feel like an eight month burden has been whisked away by a choice.

It feels so good to know that I don't know. Is that weird? I don't think so...because its completely refreshing understanding that I really can be content with being completely clueless. I know what my soul wants- not just my mind.

The Lord really times things perfectly. Leaders are truly inspired to share messages.

My stake president spoke last Sunday in our sacrament meeting. He said that some people surround themselves with others because they are afraid of being alone with themselves-afraid of thoughts churning. Could I raise and arm as GUILTY?! Sheesh. Finally, I found time to think. Clear of music, background TV noise, beautiful roomates, and handsome boys chasing me. Cars are amazing inventions...

I don't feel like I had any sort of revelation. I think it was more of a realization of subconsciousness. I found time to listen to myself and I found I'm less complicated than I thought. I no longer feel stretched in two directions. I'm content wandering blindly between chapters of my book.


Find time to sort thoughts and newness comes to your eyes- the sun seems brighter.


P.S.
Here are a few of my Halloween adventures..

Rocks.

There are these rocks that are sitting in my kitchen sink...staring at me. They were sitting at the bottom of a beautiful vase of flowers wrapped in orange and pink ribbon. Drain...

Those years ruined me for good. My heart can't change as much as I want it to...as much as a I need it to.

Mom wrote in a card and sent in my lunch senior year. It was during a low time for me...It said, "I'm sorry you're hurting--sometimes love does that."

Presently, I'm mad at love. I don't want to love. Stoicism would make things so much easier for me. Buh.

Ache.
My body needs to dance. My feelings need to move. I have no where to let loose.

Pictures of recent happenings....

Boy.



Boy sends flowers to work..."no more fat days"



Blue Foam Football.



On Campus Brother/Sister date.



Some newly acquired country swing dance skills.

Home

Its scary to me how comfortable I feel living away from home. Provo feels like home now.

Life has been good. Its amazing how certain people can eliminate stress for me. I love people...especially when they make my life less complicated.

Work has been SO great! The kids I work with are amazing and my boss is fanTAStic. I hope to excel and grow in position in our office...I have learned so much. I feel so much more secure in serving people when I know what is going on. I find comfort in knowledge.

Last weekend I hiked the highest peak in the Wasatch range- Mt. Nebo. It was amazing. We left before dawn and reached the summit right as the sun began to rise. Physically, it was more challenging that I expected. Before we were even half way up, each time we stopped, it was silent. The air was still and calm. The thought lingered, "stand still and see the salvation of God." I love nature. Hearing the promptings of the Spirit is simple. I feel connected, in tune. No wonder Joseph Smith went to the Sacred Grove! I need that peace more often than I get it. My mind gets so loud and crazy. Time in quiet would help to get my thoughts in order, get my actions in line, and get my feet on the Lord's path.


Can I say again...that I loooove my roomates?!!!!

Personal Mission

With the beginning of a new semester I feel some change is in order. I have so much I want to accomplish-to learn. Today was the first day of school and it was crazy...I had to move around my schedule a bit. I'm going to have a lot less free time to play this semester.

Oh yeah. And I love love love my new roomates. They're inspiring.

Personal Mission Statement


I am at my best when I feel secure..
I will try to prevent times when I don't understand what's going on..
I will enjoy my work by finding employment where I can make other people happy..
I will find enjoyment in my personal life through developing relationships and dance..
I will find opportunities to use my natural talents and gifts such as creativity, dance, caring for others, and being organized..
I can do anything I set my mind to. I will open a dance studio..
My life's journey is to bring the gospel to the lives of others, to influence with music, service, and love..
I will be a person who’s husband will say that I inspired and drove him to grow closer to God, that I shared my knowledge and passion for color and music freely, and that my children reflect the best of my qualities..
My most important future contribution to others will be my faith reflected in my willingness to serve and spread the gospel..

I will stop procrastinating and start working on:
• Not breaking hearts
• Becoming a conspicuous representative of Jesus Christ.
• Not quitting when I’m not good at something.

I will strive to incorporate the following attributes into my life:
• Courage
• Humility
• Determination

I will constantly renew myself by focusing on the four dimensions of my life:

Physical-wake up at 6AM, dance/stretch 4 times a week, eat daily servings of fruits and vegetables

Spiritual-pray twice daily or more, read at least one chapter of scripture other than for school daily, attend the temple once a week

Mental-write out daily plans, remain organized, plan money

Social/Emotional-participate in ward activities, go on dates with my boyfriend, write missionaries on a regular basis, develop closer relationships with girls

Shoot to Kill.

Finally! I'm back in Provo. The drive was nice and I drove a lot of the way surprisingly.

Summer ended nicely. My friend Jeff from the singles ward in Houston took me out with some other kids the last night I was in town. We had a blast! Red Robin burgers are delicious. Games and Dave & Busters are awesome. The movie "Ponyo" is a definite recommend.


Now I'm on the hunt; for a job that is. Job searching discourages me. I feel so unqualified for most of the positions I want. I'm looking for more of a professional setting than a cafeteria and those jobs are much harder to come by on campus at BYU. My class schedule has been a major pain, but I can't fix it without dropping my major pre-requisites and I've got to get those finished!

Mom and I attended education week these past few days. It has been so enlightening and given me the spiritual invigoration I've needed lately. Every one here is so kind and tender hearted- truly "happy valley." I've followed through on the goals I made this year so far. It feels good to accomplish. It feels good to wake up at 6AM and go for a jog in the crisp air. It feels good to be closer to the Lord in the temple. It feels good to ponder and write. Life feels good. General life that is...not including love life.

I figured I'd bullet list things I learned this week whether they were my own impressions or teachers comments:

-Mercy: we don't get the punishment we deserve.
Grace: we receive blessings we do not deserve

-The light of Christ encourages us to remember the pre-mortal life and leads us to find the Holy Ghost.

-The Holy Ghost in turn leads us to make covenants.

-When we receive the gift of the Holy Ghost we are "united by priesthood ordinance with a god."

-God treats us as we have already been exhalted. That is His grace.

-Joseph Smith was born into a non-member family ;]

-"Christ saw sin as wrong but he realized that all sin springs from a deep unmet need." -Pres. Kimball

-Finite powers cannot comprehend infinite principles. Therefore, you cannot access that higher power without knowing it.

-God does not dwell in unholy temples but He does dwell in temples under construction!

-The atonement covers all. Not only our sins are as scarlett, our sorrows are too and may be made pure white through Christ's healing grace.

-Nature is a peaceful place because God created it. You cannot find that solace in a man-made edifice.

-Covenants made at baptism are just as eternal as those made in the temple.

-Sometimes the Lord puts us in peoples lives just to be there.

I know its a little scattered but those were some of my favorite things. It surprises me how my spirit can feel such peace but my mind is anxious and distressed. Does that ever stop?

Truths

I go through these awesome bouts of gratitude. A heart and mind of gratitude opens doors to unseen wisdom. More is appreciated and learned. AH! It is so great! I decided to just include random thoughts that I am grateful for.

Light.
Children, and some adults, are terrified of darkness. With no light, there is no for-warning of danger. I think that is the same reason so many people lack faith. They are afraid to give up the eyes of the world and learn from the feelings of eternity. The Lord guides us through promptings and impressions of the Spirit. "Tell me, I'll forget. Show me, I'll remember. Involve me, I'll understand." By stirring us with feelings, Heavenly Father involves us in the learning process. We can better comprehend his purposes. The temple is a light in my life. Temples are often referred to as "mountains of the Lord." On top of a mountain, you can see to such far reachings! I don't think the temple has opened my eyes to the eternities just yet, but it makes me feel more content with the inevitability of my potential. Light discerns truth. The stones used by the brother of Jared were refined and worked to a pure clear white. Only then did the Lord's finger fill them with light. "For we know that it is by grace that we are saved, after all we can do" (2 Nephi 25:23).


Plans.
I get frustrated so easily when I get stuck with a big group of people and there is no plan. We always end up watching a movie or something that is slightly boring. I let myself get frustrated with the Lord sometimes too because I just want to know what his plans are for me! EXACTLY! But...I forget that it is all in the Lord's timing. As much as it drives me crazy, I am so thankful to know that He has a plan, even if I might not know what it is. "All these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good" (D&C 122:7).


A Father.
My Dad is so gentle. I am proud to have such a righteous example of faith. I love being his daughter, learning from him, and observing his service in the church. Dad's determination to choose light over evil makes me realize something SO COOL- I am grateful to be a Daughter of God! WOWsuh. In the Pearl of Great Price the Lord affirms the truth that Moses is His son. Included at the beginning of each counsel the Lord reiterates, "thou art my son." Satan comes sneaking along and attempts to tempt Moses. But NO SIR! What does Moses say? "Who are thou? For behold I am a son of God...where is thy glory that I should worship thee?" Moses understood his personal worth to Heavenly Father and that knowledge revealed the lowliness of Satan. Its almost like he says, "Shoot fool. Do you think I'm that stupid? I know the being that loves me. I know the potential I have to become like Him. Where do you get off thinking that I would stoop to your level?" HA! In your face Satan!!






Melody.
Notes and rhythms sooth me. They give me drive and purpose. They give me focus and strength. Music grabs a hold of my spirit like nothing else. It can be a comfort and an excitement, a way into others lives. Harmony brings me closer to those I share it with. My home will be FULL of music, noooooo doubts about that.



Perspective.
In my freshman academy class my first semester at BYU I discovered that for man to have faith, he must have some assurance that his path is pleasing to Heavenly Father. I want to cultivate that sensitivity. I want that steady feeling that my choices are in line with His will. It has just been so hard to figure that out, BUT what I'm grateful for is the calming thought that (once again) even if I don't know the exact plan, I know He has one. I know I am meant to serve and share, to rear a family in joy and love. I just gotta figure out how to bring all of it about!!!


Rush.
I bore my testimony today. The adrenaline rush that comes from the Spirit sometimes is AweSOOME! My heart was pumping and my mouth was smiling! Sharing my affirmations of the hope of the gospel feels SO GOOD! I have a Book of Mormon in my car. I want to be prepared for the time that the Lord has someone that needs me.




This was a bit of a long post. BUT all is well. I love this gospel and I know so so surely that it is true, that the Savior is it's head. Joseph Smith restored it and brought the Book of Mormon to the Earth through translation of the plates. I know a simple prayer saved and will save so many. The hope of the Savior is a light in times of darkness and rescues from sorrow. The temple is a place of forevers. Families are instituted by God and were meant to help us along this trudge through mortality.

I am blessed.