Burn through

Holy cow! I burned through almost 100 pages of journal in only 3 months. I guess I had a lot to write about with Ryan coming into my life. That being said, I have no journal pages left but have things on my mind I want to write out. My blog gets the blunt of it all...

School.
This semester started off pretty rough. I felt like I couldn't handle my roles at work, school and my new role as a wife. Never before in my college career have I actually been on top of my homework. For some reason this semester, I felt it more important than ever to actually be able to in line with the syllabus schedule. I more a few things around and dropped down to 12 credits.

It has already been such a huge relief. For once I feel like I am enjoying my university education. For once I feel like I am actually making good use of tithing money.
I feel so blessed to hold such a precious gift--My education is funded by sacred money. That's pretty amazing. That thought makes me feel even more obligated to succeed.

Sociology has become one of my favorite courses. Socio 111 filled in blank spots in my Spring semester and Socio 112 has done the same for this semester. Although, they were both fill ins, I feel like I have gained so much insight in those classes. At some points in class discussion, I worry that I allow too much of "society" to effect me. It is so fascinating to me that even though the Lord gave us agency, because of the way society is organized and structured there are so many choices we think we're making...but we're really not. Weird right?

Work.
After being out for three weeks I was sooooo excited to get back to the office. When I got back, everything seemed to have spun out of control.

I guess as a manager (and maybe sometimes in my general life) I'm a control freak. I got back to the office and things weren't being done my way. I guess they were doing things the same way as always but I just hadn't been able to keep an eye on everything.

I love my job. The people I work with have become such good friends. I respect them all so much for their different talents and abilities. I love the chance I get to lead and the chance I get to learn how to lead. I love that I feel more prepared and comfortable in making my opinion known.

Love.
Wow. Everyday I am more amazed at how blessed I am just to have a husband. Not just any husband either- Ryan Packard.

Tonight I was working on homework at the kitchen table and he came up next to me, put his arms around me and kissed me on the forehead. He didn't let go for a while. He picked me up in his arms (like Daddy used to pick me up when I was little) and carried me over to the couch just so he could hold me.

My husband is a teacher. He allows to spirit to direct the way he approaches discussions. He is dedicated to family prayer and scripture study. He is worthy of and uses his priesthood authority in our home.

Ryan doesn't ever hesitate to show his love. He tells me every morning how beautiful I am. He writes sweet messages in my lunch every day. He speaks to me so gently.


Life.
When I think about all that I have been given, I recognize my potential. I also recognize that the Lord expects so much. I want to be the willing and faithful servant. I want to be trained in such a way that I am useful to the building up of the kingdom.

I know the Lord loves. I know He provides. I feel His presence in the programs, organizations and practices here at BYU and within the church. I know that agency was a special, special gift that I cannot yet comprehend the importance of. I love the Lord and His church.

I am grateful.

Moon, ocean, heart.

Honeymoon.

Sunday after all of the wedding festivities we flew out to Cozumel. Holy cow was it gorgeous. Our resort was all inclusive and the food was fantastic.

The water, clear and blue. The waves, slow and calming. The sun, warm and toasting.



There is just something about a beach that is so different. Its not that its romantic but it puts everything else beside. You just want to lay in the sun and fall asleep.

My sisters are expecting juicy details but there won't be any. Sorry...there will be none. ;)
I will say that I loved having a DVD player in our room. We cuddled every night and fell asleep to a movie. Court Jester is def a new favorite of mine. Brecken....nice ring to it eh?

Its probably strange to say but I think we were really ready to get back to real life. We were so excited to start living it together.

Life.

The drive to Utah was boring as usual. The first week of school stressed me to the bone with work, homework, and trying my best to be the little wifey I wanted to be. I've had to realize that things will come with time. Right now, life has too much going on. We're finally starting to settle in and I'm finally feeling okay with our routine. We have long days but at least we get to come home to each other.

Ryan has already brought the strength of the spirit into our home. Counseling with my husband is fun and reassuring. We are doing are best to reach the goals that we have set for our tiny new family. Slowly, we learn about one another. Slowly, I am becoming to rely more on him for my world. These past few weeks haven't been the bliss I expected but they have taught me so many good things and I feel bliss in all of that knowledge.

My husband loves. My husband is the joy behind my smile. My husband fills in all of my many gaps.

I love you Ryan Packard.

Love,
Mrs. Packard

Here are a few pictures of the beginnings of our little house.

Honey, suga, life.

Sorry guys. I know its been a while. Life has kinda of taken me by the reigns lately.

I finally got married. We had to kind of jump right back into things. Ryan I had little time to adjust to our new life together. That's my excuse for being so behind on updates.

The Day.
Before, everyone told me that no matter what you do, you will have some regrets about the way you did your wedding. I don't have those. My big day was a perfect day.

Kneeling across from the man of my dreams in the House of the Lord--what could be better. That was the sweetest experience of my life. We both got dressed after the ceremony but sat in the temple writing down our feelings before we went outside to meet everyone. Mandi had done my flowers in a frantic the night before and they were beautiful, exactly what I wanted.

Going outside was a bit of a rush. Strange though, that I felt so completely calm inside knowing I had Ryan by my side and that he would be there forever.

I think one of the greatest blessings of that day was having all of my wonderfully beautiful siblings there. I couldn't have asked for something more special or eternal. Over the past few years my family has grown so near and dear to my heart. More so than I think I would've imagined.

We fried outside in the sun taking pictures then hurried to the luncheon.

We got to the reception hall early and it looked perfect. It was so beautiful, my fairytale. Guest started arriving and greeting them felt so good to say "this is my husband." We had a blast dancing and I loved watching little Gavin boy drop it like its hot.

At the end of the night I was so ready to just be with Ryan, to have him all to myself. The next day was just as hectic with the open house.